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Although being caucasian myself, I grew up around a great deal of Chinese women in my own native country and even though I have spent the last eight years living in mainland China I am still surprised at how many Chinese women born in America and Canada still retain a certain amount of cultural conditioning that affects their dating choices similar to mainland Chinese, and this also affects the kind of men they are attracted to. I get quite a few emails from guys dating Chinese women in America and Canada , and one of their biggest fears, apart from how to attract her, is that they will make a mistake in the dating process and really mess up their chances. In truth, understanding the cultural perspective that she's received from her parents and had reinforced by the Chinese community surrounding her, is quite important. It can be the difference between her making a physical-emotional commitment or not. Let me clear on one thing with you, seeing as we really want to get to the crux of the situation in the beginning; Chinese women do not really distinguish between physical and emotional commitment; for the most part they look for a male that can fulfill the emotional long-term relationship criteria and then choose to get physical with that male; no matter mainland Chinese women or north American born Chinese women , it's the same result.
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My Chinese female friends told me that they allowed their boyfriends to hold their hands after dating for two months and to kiss them after half a year. I bluntly asked how long it would take for them to allow sex with their boyfriends. My friend Dianna Alma, a sophomore at Whitman, however, told me that holding hands was not necessarily an indicator of a relationship. Obviously, sex is more accepted and common here.
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